So it's entirely possible that Avengers will be the thing that lures me back into online fandom...because at this point in time, all I want to do is grab virtual hands with everyone and jump up and down with glee over this movie and all it brought and all it implies.

To be honest, right now I'm just lurking the hell out of various kinkmemes, feeling glad that I'm far from the only person whose brain is working in particular, peculiar ways.

Work is somewhat stressful right now, but stressful in very different ways than the previous job was, so I keep trying to remind myself of the differences -- and of the shift in focus and impact this job means. However small my contribution, in the end I am ultimately able to have a positive effect on global education, and that makes up for a bit of uncertainty and stress.

Still glad to have moved to NY, though I miss Northampton and my friends there terribly. We have met some great geeky people here, J's moving ahead with planninga second branch of the store, I have concerts on the horizon, a very good friend is moving to the area, I have a good support network of people I love. I'm still sequestering myself away a lot, in part because of about a month of sheer dental hell, but am working to get myself out there more...I miss my writers' group, and have found one semi-locally that I might check out.

And OH GOD do I miss having slashy friends to squee with in real time. But, oh, internet, how you help make me feel less alone there...

Love to you all & hoping all is well. xo

My first week of work at the international branch of Pearson was phenomenal. I absolutely made the right decision!

I can't believe how quickly this has snuck up on me. In one week, I'll be participating in an 18-mile overnight walk to raise money for suicide prevention. The event is called the Out of the Darkness walk, and the cause is one that has a lot of personal meaning for me...so much of my adult life has been a journey out of my own darkness.

I needed to raise a minimum of $1000 for the walk, and I have been blown away by the generosity of friends, family, and the community (I owe many personal thank-yous!) as I've participated in my first foray into fundraising. As of today, I am less than $100 away from my personal fundraising goal of $1500.

If you would like to support my walk, please visit the link below to read my personal history and inspiration for participating in this event. I'd appreciate any help spreading the word!! xoxox

http://theovernight.donordrive.com/participant/midwinter

(And, yes, I cried when the Bouncing Souls donated and wrote a note on my fundraising page...)

**ETA: Wow, thank you so much!! I've now surpassed my goal of $1500. I am touched by everyone's generosity and love. Thank you, with all my heart.**

**ETA 2: I would love to keep raising money for this amazing cause! If you'd still like to donate or spread the word, please do! <3 <3**

I keep sitting down to work some more on my concert write-up from this past week spent following MCR from Boston through Philly and NJ and down to DC...and I keep getting overwhelmed by it and stopping, often mid-sentence, and wandering away. Suffice to say it was an incredibly challenging and rewarding week spent with friends both old and new, and I feel fortunate that I was able to have this experience and share it with people I love.

Home again, lungs growing wheezy with the inevitable concert crud, I am feeling a bit drained, so I thought I'd do something I've never done before, and throw my name in to a meme that I've been enjoying. Love my friends and any excuse to tell them so! If anyone's around on a Friday night...would love to hear some kind words right about now. *hugs*

THE YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL MEME


My entry is here: Fuschia

I'm feeling hopelessly behind on fic. There are so many new, gloriously long, tantalizing-sounding My Chem fics being posted, and so many by my favorite authors! I need to figure out an easy way to get the fic on to my iPad, I think. For whatever reason, my least-preferred method of reading fic is just sitting at my laptop and reading it...I always liked staying over at inkjunket's house, because she always had a stash of printed-out fics ready to go, and was also excellent at recommending just the right story to read before bed!

I was talking with Jim about the narrative gift My Chem fans have in the Killjoy verse...it's all the pretty of the boys (and Grant, guh!), but without having either to erase or acknowledge the realities of their lives now - the fact that they all have some really fantastic wives and now kids, etc.! The guys gave us their own post-apocalypse AU. How cool is that? We were talking about Grant Morrison having a lot of fic written about him and decided he would probably love it. As Jim said, looking back on Morrison's "Animal Man" run..."Grant Morrison eats the fourth wall for breakfast."

It's now been a little over three years since I tumbled, headlong, into bandom. Bandom has actively changed my life...I can't imagine my life without concerts, without GA lines, without all the lovelies I've met in line and online and at shows, without the heartfelt punk healing of The Bouncing Souls.

Right now, I have plans to see 10 MCR shows in the spring: Salt Lake City, Denver, New York X 2, Boston, Philadelphia, New Jersey X 2, DC, and Las Vegas. Can't wait for the experiences, and for seeing some of you there!

(Hmm. I also really need some more Killjoys icons!)

Because of a sudden work issue, I am not at the Roseland Gaslight Anthem/My Chemical Romance show as I had planned to me. Under other circumstances, I would be despondent, but I am simply disappointed and sad not to be seeing my friends and concert buddies who are all there tonight. I am not despondent because, through the kindness of friends, some opening of communication, and perhaps a little bit of semi-divine intervention, I got to go to the 200 person "private" MCR show at the PC Richards theater on Tuesday night.

And it was incredible. What follows is a concert report and some thoughts/realizations of what "Danger Days" means to me as an album. I love all of you, the MCR community -- thank you for being kind enough to read my natterings if you click!

( So hold on tight and don't look back )

I am so excited about this! It may not seem like a surprise for me to be saying that, but, honestly, I wasn't certain how I was going to feel after their two-year absence. This band helped me change the way I approach my life and has brought me into contact with so many amazing people (and a certain other band I can't shut up about), and will always be important to me. I was afraid, though, that I might not feel strong emotions about them again...that a particular moment had passed.

Not true.

Welcome back, boys. Thanks for bringing Grant Morrison with you.

Shallow PS: God damn, Frankie is looking goooood. Long hair, clean shaven, little bit of a tummy? Guh. And how much do I fangirl every time I see his 'Hopeless Romantic' tattoo?
Also: I want all the fic in the world set in this universe. Especially involving Grant and Gerard's characters. Just saying.

Last Thursday, I went down to NYC to see Johnny Weir skate at Chelsea Piers and I had an amazing time. He skated two programs – a new, elegantly simple and poignant piece called “Heartbroken” and the fabulously over-the-top routine he does to “Bad Romance,” complete with demi-tutu and Bowie-esque layers of sparkles and cosmetics. This is the first time I had seen figure skating live, and I was impressed, first and foremost, with the speed and power of all of the athletes who performed that night. (That said, it was also very clear that Johnny was an Olympian – the ease of his jumps, his speed, his grace. It was really breathtaking!)

I met up with trudybooth, rufus, and nini_darko, as well as a group of ebullient, welcoming folks from an online community. I am normally pretty shy about meeting new people (hello, insecurities!), but I am trying to push myself to take more chances, socially speaking. Not everyone is going to be my new best friend, but I have always been glad, in the past, to meet new, interesting people, and I need to make certain I am still reaching out, despite my insecurities!

We all ended up sitting in various groups and gatherings of fans, and the mood in the rink was buoyant and delighted and delightful, so, sitting among other fans and between good friends, I was, admittedly, indulging in some pretty hard-core squee! That's certainly the most I've giggled in a long time. *g*

There was a reception after the ice show, but I had specifically not bought a ticket to that, as I was not certain how social I was going to feel that night. (As an introvert, my energy drops quickly as I spend time in groups, especially when meeting new people.) I also figured I'd feel awkward at the reception.

Next week, however, I am going to go with my friends to an AIDSwalk benefit that Johnny is cohosting (www.88foraids.com) and I'm starting to get nervous about that. I am, however, still very interested in going, because I would, in the end, like to get a moment to thank him for what he does and what he's given me. This got me to thinking about meeting people we admire ( I seem loath to call them 'celebrities,' but I guess this is what I mean), because I definitely appreciate and respect the fact that many fans don't like to meet and greet at all.

So what is it that I find appealing in a fleeting chance to say hello to someone? I had to think about that a bit, and I'm still not certain I've defined it adequately, but I did work through some tl; dr notes after the cut.

( meeting and greeting )

I'm sitting in a "chalet"-themed hotel in middle America, devouring the free chocolate-covered strawberries and Perrier randomly delivered to me by the hotel staff, avoiding organizing my presentation notes for tomorrow's conference by flicking through image after internet image of...Johnny Weir.

Damn.

How did I get a new fandom? I wasn't looking for one, by any means. I've been very inactive in fannish circles (not that I was ever very active, but still), and bandom has evolved into a steady presence in my life that I share with a few great people who have similar feelings about the same people I do and don't mind rehashing the same squee and discussions. Bands and concerts are now an incredibly important part of my life.

I was thinking that maybe I wouldn't get that fandom "aha!" moment again. I had hoped I'd click with SPN or Merlin...and I clicked with the new Sherlock Holmes movie fic, but not in a "OMG HAVE TO HAVE EVERYTHING NOW" sort of way.

Then I spent most of February running conferences in Minneapolis, and not wanting to venture much outside...and found myself glued to the Olympics, and found myself falling for Johnny Weir, for Lambiel, for graceful and angry Plushenko, for awkwardly endearing Evan Lysacek. Johnny ended up getting in my head the way Pete Wentz did when I first fell into bandom...I think I've said "Damn you, Weir" to myself on more than one occasion.

I think that, after resisting RPS for so many years, the first RPS fandom was hard...but this one was easy. Over the past few weeks, I've joined communities, devoured fic, learned the lingo, spent hours watching videos of old routines, watched every second of "Be Good, Johnny Weir," translated Russian interviews with Johnny for friends, and purchased tickets to go see Johnny skate at Chelsea Piers. The funny thing is that I didn't think "OH! I have a new fandom!" until I broke down and got my first skater icon. (I barely even know what to call my new fandom! Skaterdom? Skating fandom? The Johnny Weir is fucking fabulous fandom?)

I don't seem to be alone in this new rush of post-Vancouver discovery. It's all very shiny and fun for me right now, and I don't want to lose that feeling! One of the things I find most fascinating about these boys, especially the Americans, is how they've been locked into the same cohort for years...it's the nature of the sport. Evan and Johnny have been rivals and teammates for a decade - and can't exactly escape each other. The close quarters and shifting roles/ratings fascinate me; I keep wanting to read lots of backstory fic.

( Cut for NSFW Johnny Weir clip )

I really wish I had a less fangirly title for this post, but there it is.

If you've spent more than 5 minutes with me recently, you know how much I value, adore, respect, love, etc., the Bouncing Souls. They are having their 4-night Home for the Holidays celebration in Asbury Park December 26-29 to close out their 20th anniversary tour. My friends and I have already been planning to do all 4 shows.

The Souls have 20 years of material on which to draw...and held a contest in which fans created possible setlists for the shows, and they picked 4 of the lists to play.

This afternoon, I got this e-mail from Kate (Hiltz, i.e., Kate is Great, their manager):

CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!! you are not only a winner but you are THE WINNER! you are the only person that we all voted for. you did a great job!!!! as the grand prize winner and queen of the holidays parade, we have picked your set for the last night, dec 29th! you and a guest will have all access passes on the guest list and you can hang out with us all night (not as fun as it sounds, hahaha, just kidding).

(and a bit more, but that's the important part)

OH MY GOD. I am so excited about this. I made a whole story-setlist for them and really worked hard on it, but still wasn't sure...I don't really know a lot about how easy or difficult it is to switch between songs, etc.

!!!!!!

Just saw HBP and very much enjoyed it. Tom Felton surprised the hell out of me -- I thought he did a great job embodying and complicating Draco's character.

One quick note about Slughorn beneath the cut.

( Slughorn )